Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Week 1 WI

I really want this person back... The one who climbs mountains, cared about what she ate, liked to exercise and was LOSING WEIGHT....

Week one.... 252lbs. Weighing in on Mondays mornings.

failing miserably at eating clean... but am not giving up. I'm in a really bad funk. A "what is it all about/why am I here/what is my purpose" kind of lethargic funk. I don't like it.

I even had the thought last night that 'whats the point of losing weight,... I'm just going to gain it all back plus some'

It's really sad.

I'm thinking I might be dealing with some nasty depression and am tempted to go to the DR's about it. But I also think that If I just start working out again, the exercise endorphins will kick in and I'll remember what happy is. I just can't get myself to do it!

I need to stop thinking about it from the negative side... that I've gained 30+ pounds back and am at my highest weight ever. I've lost weight before, and I've felt GOOD about myself before.. I know this feeling of being defeated and lost will go away but I need to put in some effort for that to happen!

on a side note... I'm watching Biggest Loser right now and I am not liking it. I feel like its very type cast.. same stories... I don't know.. not feelin it!

1 comment:

Tracy said...

My Darling! You can do it! You've done it before, and you can do it again!!! I believe in you!!!!