Friday, October 31, 2008

it's a slippery slope...

I was taken out to lunch today.. I had a tuna melt and fries... and from there it went downhill.. with no sign of stopping...

halloween candy
3 slices of pizza
big bowl of ice cream

SO... needless to say all my daily points were used even before dinner and the rest of the WP points are gone

I thought briefly about stopping the binge.. but.. a small (at least its getting small!) voice said.. "eh.. you blew it so just finish off the day.."

as i was eating the ice cream i could tell i was full.. but I kept going.. just like every kid.. I was ingrained with 'finish everything on your plate!'

I know it's not going to ruin my WI on wed. morning.. it may result in no loss.. but that was my decision to let go like that so I have no one to blame but myself.

Im going out to Lunch with a friend tomorrow.. and will be as careful as I can... and then just be really careful till WI.

I did go for a walk today.. it finally warmed up.. and it was a good walk

now Im watching 'Young Frankestein'

happy halloween!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

a small freak-out

so i am at training for my new job up in Geneva and am now on my lunch break. I decided to head over to blogger and check it out.. and it went right to my account.. I was confused.. How did this computer know my account.. then i logged out and reazlied it was because i checked gmail and blogger uses my google account..

dumb blonde moment..

training is going well.. a bit over whellming.. but once I get into a routine i will be ok.
I borought my lunch.. so I am ok there too.

Food Log
cereal/milk (7)
( i caved on cracklin oat bran.. love that stuff.. but its 5points/serv.. oh well!)

fiber one bar (2)

pear (1)
tomato soup (in hand) (4)
rf cheezits (5)

banana (1)

3 slices veg pizza (12)

32 points.. -2 from WP


being taken out for lunch by Kelly, one of the girls who is training me to do traffic work for the radio station.. that means I put all the commercials in the broadcast.. It wasn't too bad today.. it's going to be a lot of work.. not just receptionist stuff.. but I think I can get the hang of it.. I picked everything up pretty quick today.

I stopped at the outlet mall.. picked up 2 pairs of pants at LB for $50. One of my goals is to never have to shop at Lane Bryant or any plus size store again.. so expensive... and not fashionable at all. I was pretty annoyed I had to buy up a size.. I had gotten rid of all my size 20 clothes before the summer.. oh well! I will be out of them soon..

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Happily Employed, and a minus at WI

I had my 2nd interview at the radio station today. I have been hired.. 25k/yr, about $13/hr.. so I think I will be ok! Plus there is health and I get a week vacation after 6 months (which will probably be used for interviewing for teaching jobs).. I actually have to go back in to day at 230 to meet the phone man and learn the system and do the greeting message. I go for training for the next 3-4 days and get my first pay check (only for 2 days of work.. but!) friday. I can finally breathe and my attitue has greatly improved!

WI this morning was good.. only down .2, but still.. it's down and not up.. so I'm ok with that.. I have a feeling this is going to be an especially slow adventure, at least until I can get into a gym.. which will hopefuly be in 2 weeks once I start getting full pay checks and am caught up on bills.

Even though Im getting a good salary.. I'm still going to be really tight with my money.. I need to try to save up money for my next transition.. which will hopefully be this summer to a new city for a new teaching job. I need to join a gym though.. $45/month is worth it.. I will shop at Aldi if i have to.. Plus I have $325 coming in in mid november for the Messiah gig I am doing.. so I could just earmark that money for the Gym.. and probably will.

Food Log

cereal/milk (6)

4 tacos (5)
bean/corn (2)

fiber 1 bar (2)
1 serving RF cheezits (3)
2 PB cups (6) *

* I spent like 10 minutes in the grocery store trying to decide what I wanted for a guilty pleasure type snack. Unfortunately I am still rewarding myself with food.. But at least I am very aware of what I am doing.. hence why it took me 10 minutes to decide. I thought of chips and salsa.. but for the points it's such a small portion.. and they would be in the house always tempting me...I finally decided on Reduced Fat White cheddar cheezits.. I love those.. and then I decided i wanted chocoalte.. so i grabbed a packet of reeses pb cups as well. I came home and counted out a serving of cheezits, and it was enough. I enjoyed my PB cups as well. If anything at least Im more concious of what Im eating and whats worth the points... and that's a good start!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

playing the waiting game

It seems like when you are unemployed.. all you do is wait.. wait for the phone to ring.. wait to get an interview.. wait to see when you will have $ again.. 

sometimes I feel like I'm playing the waiting game with weight loss... Especially with a Weigh In once a week.. I'm just waiting to get to that next WI.. sometimes its all I think of.. which I guess is good because it keeps me accountable for what I eat. I can't wait for the the day when I dont have to wait.. where I'm finally at goal and my life is not controlled by trying to lose weight

anyways.. I have another interview (i guess) tomorrow for the radio station job.. I should've asked what it was.. but I guess it could only be another interview. I also have the possibility of another interview for a different job (a CSR job) tomorrow as well depending on what happens with the first interview... I really hope something works out this week... It's no fun crying yourself to sleep because you don't know how you're going to afford life...

Today's Food
WI this morning was 230.. I am not going to WW meetings now.. sad.. Tomorrow morning is my official WI.

cereal/milk/banana (8)

3 tacos (3)
bean/corn mix (2)
cheese (2)

1 cup tomato soup (2)
1 grilled cheese w/ ff cheese (5)

8 points left, but I'm afraid to have anything else because I want to see the best loss possible tomorrow morning... how SICK IS THAT.. 

off to read Dr Phils Weight loss book...

Saturday, October 25, 2008

rainy saturday

No word on the Job yet.. I won't be able to sleep tonight. I woke up at 8am this morning and couldnt really sleep.. even though I tried untill 11am. I got a notice in the mail that one of my student loans is close to default. That's 2 loans that have gone off forbarence without me knowing.. I need to check all my accounts tomorrow.. change my address.. and make sure the others are on hold.. and then put the other 2 back on hold. But.. no talk about money.. Everything will work out and I need to stay positive!

Food Today

late start.. yay weekend

eggs (4)
potato (4)
cheese (2)
oil (2)
toast (3)

rice (6)
mixed veggies (1)
fake chicken nuggets (6)

2 points left.. but I had a lot of oil in that pan... so I'm just going to say all my points were used.. and since its 11pm.. I don't plan on eating anything else. It rained all day, and I stayed inside.. cleaned my room a little. Tomorrow I HAVE to go practice my messiah stuff.. I'm going to go to the book sale.. last day.. $1 bags!.. get some groceries.. I really want some grilled cheese and tomato soup..

I hate being on edge like this... waiting on this news.. wondering how I'm going to pay for things..

"I can't think about this now.. I'll think about it tomorrow"
(Thanks Scarlett O'hara ; )

well that was.. weird

I hung out with the ex tonight.. went to dinner and came back and played rock band and watched 'forgetting sarah marshall'. It was weird.. not awkward.. just weird. We got along ok and I had fun but the jokes that he used to make are now annoying and irritating.. I don't know, maybe you can't be friends with your ex. I feel just indifferent about him now. He asked If i wanted the gifts he gave me (that I returned) back.. ofcourse i said no. I gave them back because I didn't want them and their reminder of what we had and were.. so no.. I don't want them back. I don't know.. I'm not going to make any attempts to hang out. If he wants to, fine.. but it's still a little reminder of what we had and now don't, And i don't like that feeling.. 

Anyways.. back to the real purpose of this blog.. weight loss! WI this morning was at 229.6, hopefully I will not have another fluke... WW Meetings are in the air. I had a good interview yesterday for an office job and will find out this weekend about it.. so It depends on if I'm actually working... which I really hope I am because I'm a little nervous! Dinner tonight was a little much.. but I haven't used much Weekly points, so Im ok. 

Here is todays Food List

cereal/milk/banana (7)
coffee w/milk and sugar (1)

2 grilled cheese (10)
1C green beans (0)

apple (1)

1 cheese and bean quesidilla (10)
beer (3)
chips (4)
guac (2)
3/4 C rice (3)

gin and tonic (4)

Total 45 (minus 15 from WP)
 that dinner is a rough estimate.. so I will be careful with the WP. It's supposed to rain this weekend, so I need to be active inside instead... even if its just 20min of pilates.. I need to get accustomed to working out inside because who knows if/when I'll be able to afford the gym again.

Im staying as positive as possible.. a door doesn't close without a window being left open...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Sleet?! Already?!

It is absolutely FREEZING today.. It rained.. then sleeted.. and then was just cold. not my idea of a good time for sure..

I had tacos twice today.. and I'm ok with that.. I have blue corn tacos that are sooo yummy. I had regular tacos at work.. and only 2.. I did not have double lunch today. Go ME

Today's food ..

1/2 c yogurt
1/2 c kashi golean

2 taco shells (3)
1/2 c refried beans (3)
Corn (1)
cheese (2)

ww pretzles (2)

4 taco shells (6)
cheese (2)
bean/corn mix (4)

popcorn (3) and goldfish (3) (6)

Used all daily points and 5 WP

 got all my water in too : )


I KNEW yesterday was a fluke... WI this morning was 230.. so i LOST this week.. total loss in 3 weeks = 3.4lbs

I will do my WI on Wed. mornings now.. no more meetings.. at least until I have a secure job that can afford it..

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I just don't get it...

Since last WI my scale has been showing a steady gain. This morning I weighed myself, and I was up.. at WI at the meeting I was still up.. 2.2lbs... now at 234.. higher than when I started 2 weeks ago.

I was too upset to stay at the meeting.... I got in my car and cried.. I don't understand why there was a gain. Ive been within points all week. Part of me thinks it my attitude. I think I'm just stressed with my job/money situation and it's not letting the weight go. Either way.. I'm going to keep going with my food journal.. get exercise in when I can..and keep working on it.  That's all I can do.. I'm not going to give up.. Im so SO miserable at this weight.. so I have to keep going.. I'm going to have to stop going to WW though... Not sure where I'll be with a job next week.. and I can do this on my own.. I've found a ton of blogs to keep me motivated.. I can get on the WW website.. 

1. drink my water
2. exercise at least 3 times before next WI (which will now be TUESDAY MORNING.. not PM)
3. only have ONE SERVING at work/lunch
4. Be positive about the healthy changes I'm making

Sunday, October 19, 2008


pretty lame day today.. but I did make myself go walk at least.. and stayed with in my points range.. so i guess it's actually a non-lame day.

I'm really low on $ and it really stresses me. I have one more week at the day care, and durring this week i HAVE to find another job to start next week.. I can't have a break inbetween.. I cant afford a break.. I have an interview at Stafkings on tuesday.. and will call kelly services on tuesday as well.. I may have to hold off on my car loan.. or call and see if I can not pay for a month..  

anyways.. i can't think about it now.. I can only pray that something comes up on Tuesday. I've contacted a debt management service and hope I can get lower payments on that.. everything will work out... 

Food today..

oatmeal w/almonds (3)
fiberone bar (2)

falafel (2)
rice (4)
cheese (2)

rice (4)
bean/sweet potato mix (2)
ww wrap (2)

Walk (40 min) 3ap

popcorn w/ gold fish (6)
applesauce (1)

all 31 daily points, and all 3 APs

On a side note.. I can't afford Weight Watchers after all.. at least not untill I have another job.. so I will keep posting on here and track on my own.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

brrr! Fall is here!

I woke up at 9am to a very cold morning.. only 20!! My walk had to wait til after noon.. and even then it was pretty cold! I did get in a long, hour walk. Sometimes I have moments during the walk where I just want to turn around.. I think I get bored.. and sometimes my back or knees hurt.. but.. I have nothing else to do.. and I *DO* want to lose weight.. so I kept going.

I've been reading food blogs this evening.. not good since now I'm really hungry. I want to make something with sweet potatoes and black beans.. but I don't have any black beans. Maybe I will make a sweet potato with veggies on top.

I made falafal balls today.. the kind in the box.. and they were actually really good.. and filling for that matter (go chickpeas!) I put a few in a whole wheat wrap w/ some spaghetti sauce and a little cheese and wrapped it up. I actually had 2.. but 1 would have totally been enough!

A pretty lazy day otherwise.. played scrabble online with my sis for an hour or so... read for awhile.. took an hour nap (ha) and then read food blogs for an hour.. now I need to go make something for dinner.

Food List

shredded wheat and soy milk (6)

falafal balls
whole wheat wraps
spag. sauce
 1 wrap = 8 points?
I think I over counted for the falafel...

Hour long Walk --- 4 AP

12 points left for the day

Friday, October 17, 2008

If it was easy, everyone would do it.. It's the hard that makes it great..

I'm watching 'A league of their own'.. love that movie!

I ate too much at dinner tonight.. and couldve just had water to make me feel full. But at least I learned from it.

Cold today... so I didn't go for a walk.. plus my body is tired from yesterday... It's sort of an excusse.. and I'm trying not to make those.. one day at a time though.

Food for Today

shredded wheat, soy milk (5)
banana bread (4)

2 grilled cheese (14)
mixed veggies (0)

530 - starving after work
1 1/2 c lentil soup (3)

popcorn (3)

800 (didn't need this...)
peas (1)
5 fake chix nuggets (5)

Used all 31 points... and 9 weekly points

Thursday, October 16, 2008


So I was feeling sorry for myself.. Pissed about my current state of affairs... crying about John and how awesome it wouldve been to be in Ithaca together... just plain feeling sorry for myself... I told myself to stop it... got out of bed.. put some workout clothes on.. my shoes on.. and headed out the door to go for walk. 

It was  pretty big moment for me.. and I thought about alot of things as I walked and jogged. I'm tired of this pattern I'm in: something goes wrong.. I give up and don't do anything about it.


I'm doing things for myself now.. not to make a BF happy or anyone else. So I'm here in Ithaca until the spring at least.. FINE... I'm going to really honestly focus all my energy on ME. I'm not going to try to lose weight.. I'm GOING to lose weight. I'm going to stop making excuses.. I'm going to be active every day. I will make the best of it all because I KNOW there is more to life and more to ME than what is there now. 

While I was talking to myself on my walk, I decided a couple major things... To the one person who reads my blog.. You can skip this if you want! : )

1. I've never actually taken time for me.. 28 years and I've always tried to make others happy.. make them first. No more.. exluding my sister.. I'm the only one that comes first.

2. I do like teaching.. and If I want the lifestyle I've had (travel, not being so strick w/$..) then I need to get a full time teaching job. I need to apply for an extension on my liscense.

3. As much as I love my sister.. If I want oppourtunities to sing.. Portland Oregon is not the answer. I will look for teaching jobs on LI/Queens and also in the Metro DC area. 2 very expensive areas... but a whole bunch of singing gigs, and close to Melissa, Mary, Tracy and Kristin.  If I have to get a roomie again.. so be it. I want to be able to sing and teach. I will still look for teaching jobs in Portland just in case nothing comes up in the other 2 areas.

4. Since I'm single, and focusing on me until June.. No need to look for a boy friend.. SO.. since I'm budgeting my life.. I'd rather take the $50 bill for my Nuvaring.. and use it towards a Gym Membership, so.. starting November, I will join the city health club here in Ithaca.. they have a bunch of awesome classes.

5. I really *do* like to exercise.. especially jog.. while I can't sustain it.. I jogged more than I ever have on today's walk and will make it my goal to be able to jog a full 30 minutes by June.

6. Weight Watchers is very important to me.. I would go online to do it to save money.. but the thing that counts the most for me is the support. I know I don't know the people personally.. but It helps to remind me that I'm not alone. Sure, I could weigh myself at home and keep track online.. or even for free for that matter... But I find the meetings make me accountable.. so I will keep going. 

A lot of thoughts going through my head tonight. I'm going to make the best I can given the situation I'm in. 

Todays Food log

shredded wheat and soy milk (5)


1 1/2 PB and Jelly Sandwiches
Fries (SO didn't need them)

starbucks pumpkin latte w/whip cream (4?) *

zuchinni, onion, corn over 1 cup CousCous (4)
1 ww wrap w/sauce and cheese (4)

Total Used - all 31
plus 2 points from my 4 point walk/jog

2 AP remaining
25 weekly left

* I had another 'defining' moment.. I wanted to get a pumpkin muffin.. but i knew that It was just because I was bummed about trying to find a new job.. So I didn't get one!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Before and After photos and a LOSS at WI!

I always try to take some photos when I (re)start a weight loss attempt...It is nice to see the changes.. but it also sucks to look at those before pics and realize how big you are.. yuck!

Anyways.. Took a walk on the South Hill Trail today.. 40 minutes (3AP).. and got some nice fall shots, and some front/side shots of me..

I am the classic APPLE shape body.. wow.. haha

Today's Food Log

shredded wheat/soy milk (5)

tuna sandwich (6)
peanut butter sandwich (8)
1/2 c peas (1)

bean/cheese/rice Burrito (Moes)
chips and guac
I feel gross, stuffed.. yuck

But WI was good... down 1.2
total lost in 2 weeks =  1.6!

Monday, October 13, 2008

A good day off!

Thanks to Columbus...I had the day off. It was *gorgeous* today.. almost 80 and sunny!! I went for a walk.. checked out Aldis grocery store to see if it was an ok place to shop, and it does seem ok. I will pick up some things tomorrow after weigh-in. Weigh-in should be good.. Im at 229.6 this am... I have to at least lost a pound and a half this week.. either way.. I know Im gettin back into the WW thing. Unfortunately.. I'm not sure I should be paying for it. I know its only $12/week.. but that ads up.. and with job uncertainty on the rise.. I'm just not sure. I have my 2 week notice in at the preschool.. well.. really.. my boss gave me no option. I told her I couldnt work for 10 and would have to find another job if I could only get 10.. and she said that 10 was the offer and she will accept this as my 2 week notice.. OUCH. It was a harsh and cold email... but.. Something will work out. Im calling kelly services tomorrow.. they said they had some jobs avail.. I'm also going to go into staffkings.. they listed some jobs online on craigslist. It will all work out.. I know it will.

Food today was ok.. although I have been (excusse me) very gassy today and I dont know if its all the squash ive had in the past few days.. or the TOM gas.. who knows.. not happy about it. I am psyched about weigh in at 229.6 this am and cant wait for WI tomorrow eve.

breakfast was late.. 1030.. but a productive day none-the-less.

shredded wheat with soy milk (5)

1 c lentil soup (2)
cheese quesadilla (4)
ww ice cream (2)
pear (1)

pasta 1 c (4)
sauce 1 c (2)
zuchinni (0)
soy milk (2)

slice of banana bread (4)

used 31 points plus 1 wp

I am pretty hungry now though.. Ive heard that when its that TOM, you burn an extra 300 calories a day.. hence why we eat and crave more during that time. But tomorrow is WI so I am being extra careful.. see.. thats why I dont want to stop going to meetings.. it really does hold me accountable. Let's hope I get a job that pays good.. and soon!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

ho hum

That's how I feel today... Ho hum... Not about weightloss..I think I'm doing a really good job with watching what I eat. It's just everything else... My job.. love... all that great stuff. I really need to find some new friends in Ithaca... find some community service or something to meet new people.  

I had a really long phone call with Mary today. We're both kind of searching for what to do with our lives. While she is happily married.. she still feels like she's missing something. I do too.. but Im recently single and friendless in a town I used to like... now I can't stand it.. but thats because of the break-up.. and crappy job prospects.

Anyways... I didn't go for a walk.. I'm kicking myself now.. it was so gorgeous.. and all I did was sit in bed and read or watch tv.. I'm so Lazy... and depressed for sure..  But this too shall pass, as my mom always said... I'll get through this and be stronger in the end.

Food For the day..

wayyyy late start...

potatos, eggs, cheese (11)


graham crackers and pb (9)

spaghetti squash w/veggie sauce (1)
2 small WW cheese quesadillas (8)

2 points left and 7 wp available
next weigh in is TUESDAY

Saturday, October 11, 2008

yesterday and today!

Friday was an ok day.. I doubled up on food at lunch again.. but I didn't do doubles at breakfast. I had a headache, so i didnt walk after work. I found out that I'm only making $10/hr at this day care job.. when I thought I was going to be making $ now I am looking for a better paying job.. if that's even possible. I've also emailed my boss about this situation hoping that she will give me a raise.

Anyways.. the food list for Friday..

oatmeal, banana (4)

2c pasta (8)
mixed veggies
garlic cheese bread (8)

pasta w/veg sauce (4)

sweet potato

Total points 32... only used 1 weekly point... and am now down to 16 WP left

Today is a better day..
I woke up around 930, read for awhile, then got dressed to go take a walk.. had a pear.. then drove up to school to try to practice. My throat is weird again.. like there is a lump in it.. It wasnt easy to vocalize in my upper range. I played through all my music for the Messiah.. tried to sing my solo.. but my voice wasnt having it. I will try again tomorrow afternoon.

After that I went to the trail and walked for 40 minutes. It was so beautiful outside.. the way the sun came through the trees onto the trail. I saw a ton of chipmunks.. blue jays.. and even a deer just standing in my path. It reminded me how good life really is even if i'm in a financial mess. 

I came home and made 2 small breakfast burritos.. just eggs, some cheese and 2 whole wheat wraps. I also weighed myself (before my walk) and am at 230. It's my TOM though.. and even though it hasn't started yet.. I wonder how I will affect my weigh-in on Tuesday. I also wonder when It's going to come.. I'm on the NuvaRing.. and it goes back in on Tuesday morning. I'll probably get it today.. yay for short periods.

Todays Food List

pear (1)

2 ww burritos (4)
2 eggs (4)
cheese (2)
total - 10

banana (1)

roasted veggies over Rice (5)
1 ww wrap w/ cheese (4)
glass of red wine (2)

Used - 23 points of 31 ... 8 points remain for the day, plus  12 WP
I had a late start.. Im sure Ill be hungry around 9 or 10
wasnt really impressed with my veggies.. too much garlic I think (is that even possible?!)
I liked the winter squash? (orange color) and onions.. but my carrots didnt get very tender.. I'll probably just toss it in some spaghetti sauce to use over pasta

edit 1025pm

add 4 graham crackers w/ pb (8)
double gin and tonic (4)

Kind of had a melt down while watching 'Wall-e'. My ex and I had seen that movie 3 times this summer and have lots of good memories around it.. I haven't thought of him in a few weeks.. but I totally broke down about him tonight.. plus about my job and $

Thursday, October 9, 2008

one walk -- 2 more to go by next Tuesday

OK.. So today was my short day.. out of work at 1 so I drove right to the end of the south hill rec trail and walked for 40 minutes.. burned 315 calories.. 3 activity points.

Food, however, got me in the butt...

I still can't stop at one serving at lunch.. plus today i had another breakfast when I got in to work!! I know my period is due soon.. but that shouldn't be an excuse to go nuts and eat whatever I want!

anyways.. Im very proud I got a walk in today. I left my shoes in the car in hopes that if it's nice when I leave work.. then I will go walk.

Todays Food

bagel/lite cream cheese/ banana (9)

845 (at work)
mini bagel, PB (7)

Lunch 1130
2 tuna sandwiches (10)
applesauce (1)

Snack 300
pear (1)
graham crackers (2)
pb (2)
nuts (4)

dinner 700
pasta 1 1/2 cups (6)
veggies w/sauce (2)

snack - no reason - wasnt hungry
bagel w pb (7)


Now.. I gained 3 APs
But USED freakin' 18 weekly points in one day

I know it's emotional eating.. I know it. Im bored and lonely.. If I had $ I would join a gym and spend my nights there.. instead of sitting on my bed.. watching tv or computer.

I'm frustrated with myself.. But I know that its going to be ok.. those weekly points are there to be used.. I just need to really stick to one serving a meal.. drinking my water.. walking. I know WW works.. I'm just really emotional

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fake Chicken Strips... not so much...

Well.. I needed to use the broccolli up, so I made stir fry. I also had some fake chicken strips. I made my favorite jasmine rice (sticky rice).. broc and carrots, and chicken. It was a HUGE portion.. probably 2 cups of veg, 1 1/2 C rice and 3oz chicken. I really didnt like the chicken strips tho.. and will not buy them again.. Ill just use beans next time. I also am really full after this mean.. I guess veggies really do fill you up.

Todays food...

1 c shredded wheat, 1 c soy milk, 1 banana (5)

2 grilled cheese (10)
1 Tbsp PB (2)

1 1/2 c rice (6) (only needed 1 cup probably)
veggie mix
fake chicken strips (3)
oil (2)
total dinner (11)

Grand Total so far --- 28

3 points left as of 635pm.. and ALL my weekly points

My goals are still..

1. drink 2 large glasses of water
2. MOVE (this is tough....)
3. take only ONE helping at Lunch --- totally didnt need that second grilled cheese

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

damn tortilla chips

The multi grain tostitos come in a much smaller bag and I have managed to eat pretty much the whole bag... gross..

part of me just wants to finish the stupid bag off and get over it.. the other part of me wants to just throw it away and get over it..

i knew i shouldn't have bought them tonight... but me in my .. 'i did ok at weigh-in today.. i can splurge'.. attitude.. went and bought them.. .c'est la vie

Weigh-in was suprising.. while I only went down .4, I still managed to actually go DOWN after a weekend of eating off plan and drinking way too much.

I really need to get back into a workout schedule.. today is my short day at work.. done at 1.. and i came home and took a nap.. it was a GORGEOUS day today.. and i took a nap

I need to get out of this funk I'm in.. and get into a schedule that includes exercise and practicing singing.. its way too tempting for me to come home.. get in bed.. and read or catch up on tv

Here's a look at today's food.. I know i went over (thanks tostitos)

b - oatmeal, ww eng muffin w/rf pb PLUS a mini bagel at work... really!?
L - about 2 cups of rice with beans and corn
D - 3 tacos with soy crumbles, cheese, sour cream
then like a whole bage of multi-grain chips and salsa

tomorrow is a start to a new week.. I bought groceries.. lots of fresh produce.. spaghetti squash (since we talked about it for like 10 minutes at tonights meeting)

Here are this weeks dinner ideas

The old stand by --- squash,carrots and onion sauted over rice
might put together a lasagna with soy crumbles
roasted fall veggies (onion,carrot,potato,squash)
And i need to do something with the broccolli I bought a week ago...

the good thing about having lunch at work is I don't need to buy as much food.. but its also not always healthy.. especially when I have more than one helping..

Monday, October 6, 2008

monday monday

Ok.. well.. it was an ok day. I went away this weekend to see a friend out in Cleveland.. and it was tough to eat well and I definently drank more than I should've. I tried really hard today to eat ok.. but I had seconds at school. I think I feel like I need to finish what the kids don't so as not to waste food.. but.. HELLO!? I don't buy the food.. so It's not my waste to deal with. My goal this week is to not take seconds at lunch. 

that said.. weigh in is tomorrow.. Im pullin for either a loss or no gain/loss... but am prepared for a gain.. I know it was a rough weekend and I let it be that way. 

todays food

1 packet oatmeal (2)

1 1/2 - 2 cups pasta (6-8)
1/2 c peas (1)
mini chicken poppers/nuggets (8?) 
(YES>> chicken. ... WTF.. I go no meat and then I get to school.
I think I was like.. 'damn.. i am not going to be full on pasta and peas... tomorrow is another day..)
1/2 c apple juice (1)
3 slices WW bread w/butter (6)

dinner 6:30
2 slices Nirchies square pizza (1 plain, 1 mushroom) (10)
diet pepsi

I have no weekly left.. obviously.. thanks weekend.
Total used..  36 +/-

My GOALS this week.. 

1. Exercise!!!! t/th and sat/sun .. either walks or Taebo.. something to get me moving
2. drink 2 large water bottles/day
3. NO MEAT.. c'mon.. seriously
4. Only take one helping of lunch at work

Thursday, October 2, 2008

peanut butter.. you are the devil

I said I wouldn't keep it in the house.. but wouldn't you know.. I ended up buying some.
I wouldve had a perfectly in points day had it not been for the graham cracker and peanut butter binge I had not 5 minutes after I finished dinner.

I wasn't thinking 

anyways.. -18 weekly points (not just from today!) Need to be careful this weekend though It may be tough as I'm going out of town, and will be drinking.. I would hate to see a GAIN my first week of WW.. must drink LOTS of water

todays food log...

1 pckt low sugar oatmeal (2)
ww english muffin (1)
butter (1)

total (4)


2 ww wraps with ff refried beans and cheese (14)
raisins (2)
corn (2)


2C rice (8)
mixed Veggies (0)

total = 8

4 sheets rf graham cracker (4)
3 Tbsp rf PB (6)

total = 10

Ate all my points for the day and used 10 weekly points

Don't be angry.. at least you can admit your mistakes and know that that PB and crackers crap didnt taste good anyways.. and 1 cracker wouldve done

live and learn!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

so I'm a vegitarian who eats fish.. fine

I've been playing around with eating vegetarian for almost 2 months now. I havent touched red meat, or chicken for that matter.. in over a month. At the school I work at, we have to eat what the kids eat ( they are 2-4 year olds and want what we Today was hamburger day.. gross.. so I had tuna instead.. its either that or have PB and Jelly sandwiches when they have a meat lunch. I counter-acted it with a big bowl of fresh veggies and some sticky (jasmine) rice.. yum.

Today wasn't bad food-wise. I did start snacking after dinner for no reason.. but am sticking to my 'no-food-after-9pm' rule.. so I'm done. I bought the jello rice pudding cups because i LOVE rice pudding , and they were only 70 cal (2 points) each.. but.. the pudding is too 'eggy'.. i'll finish them.. but I wont buy again. 

here's todays food intake. I def. didn't need 2 sandwiches, or the fries... I have to work harder at taking one portion at school, and stick to it.

shredded wheat/soy milk/banana (6)

tuna sandwich - 6
tuna sandwich w/cheese - 8
fries 4
pear 1

total - 19 !

rice - 4
veggies - 0

graham crackers and rf pb -5
rice pudding - 2
fiber one bar (6pm) 2

total - 9

used  all 31 daily points +  7 weekly points

I need to be careful with my weekly points as I'm going out of town this weekend...