Saturday, December 20, 2008

12.20.08

231 this morning

breakfast
english muffin (2)
cheese(2)
egg(2)
(6)

lunch
carrots(0)
hummus(2)
cheese quesadilla (6)
(8)

dinner
'chicken' broc alfredo (10)

snacks
nuts (4)

4 daily left
all 35 wp available

I hung out with my ex, john, last night.. we dated for about a year and broke up 3 days after I moved back to Ithaca, mainly for him. We've been hanging out.. just doing dinner and playing rock band.. but it hasn't been easy. I've finally managed to not miss him as much in the BF way.. but after last night.. we are back in a mess with our 'relationship'.

We had dinner and then came back to his place to play rock band.. a few bottles of wine later.. and we were kissing.... and while I initiated the kiss... before we even started drinking... he was flirting with me... and kept doing so all night. I asked him what this was... and he just said 'were drunk and kissing... and I dont want anything again.."... as in relationship..

He drove me home soon after..

Now I am confused again.. I still have very strong feelings for him.. but he broke it up.. said he didnt love me.. so we decided to try being friends.. and it was getting ok until last night..

he left for FL for a 2 1/2 week break... I sent him an email.. we both have some thinking to do... I don't expect him to all of a sudden realize that he loves me and wants to get back together...but I also wonder if we can actually be 'just friends'..

anyways.. so that's my drama.. i've fought off emotional eating today at least.. staying on plan becuase really.. food will not fix this.. and I know that...

2 comments:

Katschi said...

Jesus, I hate the feelings you're probably experiencing. The knot in your stomach? Is it there?
Good for you for not eating your emotions! Can you workit out by exercising? I find that helps me to get rid of the stressy feelings.
Don't let him break your big heart, Mel!

Bunny Trails said...

*sigh* I so remember those feelings. Don't miss them one bit! I'm really impressed at how well you are handling it! You go!! Just don't let him (or anyone) undermine what you are doing for yourself!! Protect your heart!