what the hell is wrong with me today.. It was gorgeous out.. and I lazed around all day. I can't seem to keep myself in one mood.. I'm swinging back and forth between content and cranky almost every day... I'm not a fan of mood swings. I've also been clentching my teeth more then ever.. I know this is a sign of being angry about something.. I don't feel angry though.. I just feel annoyed and lost and everything but angry..
My body is so sore too... that body pump class was rough! 5 minutes of squats.. that's what I'm feelin today.. I feel like im 90 years old.. having to hold onto the sink to sit on the toilet.. clinging to the stair railing to get down the stairs.. what the hell!
What the hell to pretty much everything in my life...
I WANT TO GET OVER MYSELF AND MOVE FORWARD!!!
Figure my shit out.. where I want to live.. what I want to do.. and get on with my LIFE.
and f'in be PROACTIVE instead of passive... Every weekend I do this.. I waste time when there are TONS of things I could (AND SHOULD.. hello taxes?!) be doing.. and I just don't do it!
I know its that I find it easier to just do nothing.. to not be active in my life and surroundings... It's become a habit.. these past 5 years have just wiped me out and made me close up and be passive in my life... IM SICK OF IT
SNAP OUT OF IT MELISSA... you are 28... so you had your life crisis with the car accident/losing both parents at 22... You've wallowed in it for almost 6 years now... GET OVER YOURSELF and just MOVE ON ALREADY
I'm BEGGING YOU
I'm so TIRED of doing nothing.. achieving little... wasting away my 20's and dreaming of how things could be and of how I should be acting in my life story...
You know what you F*CKING NEED TO DO... so JUST DO IT!!!!
/end rant to self
this is very a la 'Eat Pray Love'... which I just finished (for the 2nd time) and want to read again already... I want a year long journey to find myself.....
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That's me on the far Right
The final FAT before picture!
There are challenges, to be sure. Yet you’ve overcome challenges before and you can do it again.
Decide to do it, and make the commitment.
Take the necessary actions, over and over again.
If you realize your approach isn’t working, adjust it and improve it until you begin to make some progress. Then be grateful for what you’ve learned, and use it to move more quickly ahead.
Be sure to choose a goal that is truly yours. Making the goal meaningful is what makes it reachable.
Creating anything of value takes a lot of good, hard, solid work. Enjoy the journey and delight in reaching the destination.
— Ralph Marston
Losing weight.. and hopefuly not my mind!
About Me
Weekly Weigh-Ins
- 12/1/10 --- 270
- 4/5/10 --- 260
- 1/25/10 --- 253.6
- 1/11/10 --- 249 (-3)
- 1/4/10 --- 252
- end of 12/09 --- 255 ( + 33lbs )
- Let's try this again!
- 4/20/09 -- 222 (+4.5)
- 4/12/09 -- 217.5 (-2.5)
- 3/29/09 -- 219 (+1)
- 3/22/09 --- 218 (-3)
- 3/15/09 --- 221 (+1.4)
- 3/8/09 --- 219.6 (-2.8)
- 3/1/09 --- 222.4 (+2.4)
- 2/22/09 --- 220 (-1.4)
- 2/15/09 --- 221.4 (- 2)
- 2/9/09 --- 223.5 (0)
- 2/2/09 --- 223.5 (0)
- 1/24/09 -- 224.4 (+ 1)
- 1/17/00 -- 223.4 (- 5.4)
- 1/10/09 --- 228 (-1.8)
- 1/3/09 -- 229.8 (-2lbs)
- 12/27/08 -- 231.8 (+.8) (start eat-clean)
- 12/20/08 --- 231 (-3)
- 12/13/08 --- 234
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Goals
Drink at least 64oz of water a day
Tack food/exercise on Sparkpeople daily
exercise at leat 5 days a week
LIMIT PROCESSED FOOD AND SUGAR!!!!!
and NO
- chips
- chocolate/candy
- soda
- french bread pizza
- convenience foods
Tack food/exercise on Sparkpeople daily
exercise at leat 5 days a week
LIMIT PROCESSED FOOD AND SUGAR!!!!!
and NO
- chips
- chocolate/candy
- soda
- french bread pizza
- convenience foods
At around 230lbs
That's me on the far Right
10/14/08
The final FAT before picture!
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Quotes
There is a way to reach the goal. You just have to decide you’re going to do it.
There are challenges, to be sure. Yet you’ve overcome challenges before and you can do it again.
Decide to do it, and make the commitment.
Take the necessary actions, over and over again.
If you realize your approach isn’t working, adjust it and improve it until you begin to make some progress. Then be grateful for what you’ve learned, and use it to move more quickly ahead.
Be sure to choose a goal that is truly yours. Making the goal meaningful is what makes it reachable.
Creating anything of value takes a lot of good, hard, solid work. Enjoy the journey and delight in reaching the destination.
— Ralph Marston
3 comments:
I want to read that book.
I just have to say hang in there. I know things will get better and yeah, you gotta be the one to help yourself get there, but you will! :)
PS I hate doing any exercises that make me so sore the next day I cant sit on the potty! lol
:)tj
Will be praying for you. Hope you find the direction you need.
Sometimes when we kick butt on a workout, it kicks back for a few days. ;-)
Path to Health
I need to read that book.
Honey, that's exactly how I felt right before starting WW. It's a bad feeling but it can be empowering. You have to will yourself to get up and just move and just take care of you. You are allowed to hate each step of the way on some days....but do it anyway. :)
((HUGS))
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