yikes!

and this is why it's good to track your food!!

after inputting all of it.. (plus the ice cream binge i just had)

almost 3000 calories!!! WHAAT!

right... so...re-thinking meal plans now.... holy crap

didn't get all my water in... but i did get a 30 min. walk in... better than nothing.

aye aye aye!! tracking food is always a good way to snap you out of weight gain avoidance syndrome... seriously!

back that carrot truck up...

yeah.. so much for thinking I was going in the right direction....

back to 253.6

Now... I only have myself to blame...

I did not care at all about what I ate and only got in a few walks.

I know I can do better.

I tracked my food tonight ... even the reeses pb cups (all 4)... and was shocked back into remembering why it's so important to track your food.

So.. Goals for the week!

1. Log your food every day no matter what.

2. Drink your water... no less than 6 cups...

3. get to the gym at least 3 times.

4. be more aware of portion sizes

I WILL GET BACK ON TRACK!

little by little..

One step at a time, right?

Have made it to the gym 2 days in a row!! Did 30 minutes on Monday and then 45 today. Going to do another 45 tomorrow and then 60 on Th/Fri and then hopefully I will be able to keep up with the hour walk like I used to do. My body isn't moving fast yet. 2.8mph feels really fast (thanks short legs!)

I'm doing ok with eating... I could do better with my post gym snack. I stick with the same foods for breakfast and lunch.. so that's easy.

Weigh in on monday was down to 249... OUT OF THE 250's!!!!!!!! and -3lbs.

Just gonna keep on keepin' on!

need to laugh?

things I did right today...

Ignoring all desires to wallow in my current state of being....

Things I did GOOD today:

1. Ate a healthy breakfast and lunch and had 2 healthy snacks. I love clementine oranges!

2. Drank one whole nalgene bottle (32oz)

3. got some laughs in while watching Ellen. Richard Simmons was on and he is one crazy dude!

Tomorrow I have plans to go check out Gold's Gym (although I hear its mad expensive) and their 12 week challenge. I will work on getting 2 whole bottle of water in and eating well breakfast, lunch, snack, AND DINNER!

Week 1 WI

I really want this person back... The one who climbs mountains, cared about what she ate, liked to exercise and was LOSING WEIGHT....

Week one.... 252lbs. Weighing in on Mondays mornings.

failing miserably at eating clean... but am not giving up. I'm in a really bad funk. A "what is it all about/why am I here/what is my purpose" kind of lethargic funk. I don't like it.

I even had the thought last night that 'whats the point of losing weight,... I'm just going to gain it all back plus some'

It's really sad.

I'm thinking I might be dealing with some nasty depression and am tempted to go to the DR's about it. But I also think that If I just start working out again, the exercise endorphins will kick in and I'll remember what happy is. I just can't get myself to do it!

I need to stop thinking about it from the negative side... that I've gained 30+ pounds back and am at my highest weight ever. I've lost weight before, and I've felt GOOD about myself before.. I know this feeling of being defeated and lost will go away but I need to put in some effort for that to happen!

on a side note... I'm watching Biggest Loser right now and I am not liking it. I feel like its very type cast.. same stories... I don't know.. not feelin it!

finding motivation

I'm having a real hard time getting back into the weighloss game. I don't if it's because I'm scared or just really don't care anymore (which should scare me in itself!). I'm re-reading through the Eat Clean book, I went and bought veggies, fruits and other groceries to get me back on healthy eating. I made my lunch for tomorrow, planned my day food wise.

I just can't get excited about it! It's annoying. I think part of it might be my living situation. I moved to a new apartment right before winter break and never had a chance to unpack everything so I feel very dis-organized and out of sorts. My plan this week is to check out Golds Gym, see what its all about, and then get everything unpacked this week. Ill start the gym this coming weekend only if I have unpacked everything and got my apartment in order. I've got the food part going for me and I know what I need to do... I just need to get excited about it!