BIG Note to Self....

OK.. you knew EXACTLY what you were doing.

since the last weigh in on 4/12 .. you have gone UP 4.5lbs... 4.5!!!!!!!!

You seriously lost it and gave in just because friends were visiting... lots of Margaritas.. TOO much food.. and then.. once they left.. you KEPT eating like crap!! You bough pizza, OREOS, and chips... and managed to finish off the chips and oreos all by yourself over the weekend. Not to mention the non-diet soda you drank.. and the lack of Exercise. You even gave up keeping track on spark people..

So is this what's going to happen when you are with other people.. you are just going to throw caution to the wind... is the food/drink really going to make the situation that much more fun?

Food and drink does not "make" a situation.. think about how crappy you felt... how tired and pathetic... how the sugar from the oreos made you feel sick.. how your digestive system went off..

This is not good for you. It is YOUR choice to eat the way you eat.. if you do this again this coming weekend you WILL be up in the upper 220's.... and remember how hard it was for you to get below 220? And how happy you were to finally be getting closer to the 210 mark.. and now you have to work that all off again.. and for what? For oreos and chips?

It's time to cut that crappy food out of your life.. it does NOTHING for you... stick to clean foods... if you are going to drink... stick to 1 glass of wine ... you don't need to have 3 margaritas per meal.. seriously..

GOALS for the WEEK
1. you have salad fixings for the lunches... and even though your boss is taking you out for lunch wed - you will still get a salad.. Meals are planned for the week - it's ok if its repetative.. at least you know you are staying with in your calorie range

2. You Will go to the gym M- TH.. Cardio M/W - a nice hour walk with inclines and Body Pump class T/TH.

3. Even though you will be w/ friends this weekend you will not lose control.. You have worked too hard to let the scale keep creeping up.. you already have 4.5lbs to get back off.. you don't need to add to it. Be happy that you are with your friends.. this does not require eating like crap!!

note to self..

That hour long walk felt great..and you burned 375 calories and worked up a good sweat.. something to be PROUD of... now let's keep that up and turn things around...Body Pump class tomorrow.. sensible eating over the weekend please..

also.. stop worrying about getting below 200 by a certain date.. when it happens, it happens.. just focus on making good food choices and moving more ONE DAY AT A TIME

Everything is going to work out in the end.. you will get through this stressy, upheaval of life time... promise... you've gone through TONS worse.. this is do-able.

Making Excuses...

SPARKPEOPLE'S Translation...

Are you interested in your goals, or are you fully committed? One of the most common complaints among goal setters nowadays is that there’s just not enough time to get to the ones that “really matter.” The real culprit is that most people don’t raise their goals beyond the level of general interest. They’re waiting for a vague time in the future when other things won’t get in the way or when they wrap things up. In other words, when it’s more convenient. And of course, that time never comes, does it? If your goals are truly that important to you, don’t let anything stand in your way. You have the power to say ‘no’ and to set your priorities. Make that commitment and you automatically create an obligation that you’re bound to fulfill.

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I really needed that quote to show up on sparkpeople today... I was thinking last night how easy it would be to let these past 12 weeks of work just slip away and in a week or two be back to square one.. I've been all excuses this week... Monday it was rainy.. RAINY!!!.. I didn't go to the gym because of RAIN... then today we had an open house at work.. until 7:30... and I ended up eating a bunch of crap finger foods (meatballs..artichoke dip..) plus 2 (yes.. 2) chocolate pudding type things (which, granted, were worth it as it was PURE chocolate.. not jello puddin!)..

I wonder what it takes to get to the point where you are "that" person..

The person who is so committed to eating well and working out and that's NORMAL.. where there are no excuses.. no reasons to skip the gym.. where you are so dedicated to yourself that nothing will get in your way...

I half ass so many things in my life.. singing.. losing weight.. keeping up with friends... And why? I mean.. I know I've been passive the past few years.. and I have every reason to be so give my circumstances.. but really.. that's just one more excuse...

I'll never forget what one jerk-face guy I was with a few years ago said to me within the first few weeks of hanging out... "you are so full of excuses"... He saw right through me so quickly... I was of course pissed at him for saying so.. but I think I was more pissed that he called me out on it and at the time really didn't think I was an excuse person... but now realize I am... still think he's a jerk face though... but I digress...

The point it... There is no reason for me to be sitting back and making excuses about weight loss (or career, or LIFE)...

Do I want to lose weight ..... YES
Do I want to be healthy .... YES
Do I want to be strong and fit .... YES
Do I want to build my self esteem... YES
Do I want to be more energetic... YES

I want all these things and there no reason for me to not reach these goals... NOTHING... not rain.. not money.. not a crappy day at work... eating bad at one meal... being upset about x,y,z ...

Tomorrow I get myself back on track.. gym after work.. dinner.. practice...

Really... it's not that hard...

note to self...

I love everything about this quote... thanks for posting this KK at Running Through Life

note to self...

You are not allowed to take a can of mixed nuts to bed with you...

not only do you get salt all over your comforter (and probably in the sheets... surprise for later..)

but You have NO control of the portion size..

just because you 'ran' tonight... does not mean you have permission to eat without thought... you certainly did not workout enough to make up for that mixed nut binge you just had...

note to self

I went by the vending machine today and made the choice to get some chips to have with my sandwich I brought.. put my money in.. ordered the honey mustard pretzels.. denied "make another selection'.. WTF! They are right there.. give me my snack!! So I tried another chip.. doritos.. 'make another selection'.. but they are RIGHT THERE...

I went to make another selection but hit the 'refund' button instead..

obviously the universe is telling me to step away from the vending machine and to just be satisfied with the sandwich and grapes I brought for lunch...

; )

note to self

that splurge meal was so not worth it... chinese food should never be used as a splurge...

I don't know how I used to eat that stuff all the time... white rice, sesame chicken, dim sum and an egg roll... not worth it..

maybe instead of one meal a week to have whatever I want.. I'll just give myself a day off from counting calories..

the up side is that at least food doesn't have such a hold over me anymore... maybe I wont even do a 'splurge' meal next weekend...although I am meeting up with a friend on saturday..hmmm

note to self...

If you can spend time at night watching tv then you can find time to exercise... The weekend it for resting.. after work you can go practice, have a light dinner (so add more calories to your breakfast and lunch)... and GO TO THE GYM

what's more important.. watching tv and wasting time on the internet... or getting fit and healthy...

/end note self...