Car dilema...

Repairs to the suv today did not fix it completely.. cylinder #5 is still showing up on the check engine light errors... today they replaced the spark plug to #5, checked the rpm compression .. car still shakes and is sluggish on hills and the engine sounds like a diesel engine.

I don't have any more $ to put into this 2002 santa fe that has 105k miles and $5k left on the loan

but.. I need a car for work and gigs...I have to be in Syracuse tuesday night (1hr 15m drive) for a rehearsal.. and back up Sunday afternoon for the concert.

the shop said that there is still something wrong, possibly the fuel injection for cylinder#5...and then there's the 'knocking' engine (the diesel engine sound)... so even if I get the injection replaced.. there could still be issues.

So do I ask for a salary advance from my summer job... pray I get some $ from the sale of my fathers estate/closing of mom's estate that will tide me over the summer.. and keep fixing my suv? I put in $550 today.. half went on what was left of the credit on my monro muffler credit card (where I took it to get fixed btw... lucky I had some $ left there).. the rest is coming from my paycheck I'm getting for next weekends concert. I was going to use that money to pay for getting my taxes done and save a little for the summer and transition to a new job after the summer.

Or should I not fix it.. pray it lasts until May when I may get some $ from estate sales... just drive to syracuse tuesday and sunday.. and then walk to work the rest of the time... keep my car off the road until I have to drive back home for the estate sale May 2nd... and then after I see where I am $-wise.. either fix my suv or try to get into something used-new?

I tried to get into something used-new last time (end of Jan.) but my credit isn't good and I didn't have a down payment.. but I would be trading in

I really don't know what to do... I guess I'm leaning towards just getting my summer pay advanced.. fix the suv... and pray I get some $ from the Estate to tide me over in the summer

Thoughts? I'm actually going through all my stuff to see what I can sell.. looking for any way to get some extra cash... tv.. instruments.. dvds... books... a savings bond that comes to maturity in 2010

It's like.. "what the hell!".. when do I fucking get my break?! I've spent the past 5..almost 6 years now dealing with crap.. trying to get my life back in order.. trying to find some peace and happiness... and I feel like I just keep getting kicked back down. I mean.. I know its all going to work out in the end and that this is NOTHING compared to what other people are dealing with and in the grand scheme of life.. this is just a bump.. albeit..a HUGE bump... in my journey... it just really sucks because I am really stretching for money and am worried about how I'm going to afford everything come summer and into fall... what with moving, finding a new teaching job, dealing with the estate in may

send any and all positive vibes my way.. and seriously.. if anyone has any suggestions on my car issues and/or lack of $... please let me know

Gahhhh!!!!

I don't need this stress/negativity right now!

I took my hyundai in (to a hyundai dealer shop.. mistake #1) this morning. If you've been following along.. you know my story.. It seemed like a very serious issue that I thought warranted a look at by an actual hyundai dealer shop...

Ends up being I am extremely low on transmission fluid and power steering fluid. Plus all the hoses for said fluids have leaks in them. I was lucky to get my car in when I did (yes this is true.. but I was obviously able to drive it down to the shop...)This all started because my check engine light kept coming on, and was showing a dealer code when I had my oil changed 2 weeks ago at Mobil 1 lube express.

The diagnostic alone cost $80. I asked if I could come pick it up and he laughed at me "no hon.. this car isnt going anywhere til its fixed.".. So.. what.. now I am forced to have it fixed there?!! When i dropped it off this morning I told them to just see what the issue was... not tear it apart in such a way that I was forced to have it repaired there.

I hate that I don't know enough about cars or auto repair.. I feel like this place is totally scamming me.

He said the transmission was, luckily, fine. I just need to replace the hoses... and how much will that all cost (plus labor and tax ofcourse)

$800

WHAT!!!!?!?!?!

Obviously I freaked.. I don't have that money... I asked if I could take it back.. I'd still have to pay the diagnostic obviously.. but should I have to pay for them taking it apart and putting it back together again.. IF THAT"S EVEN WHAT THEY DID?! He said they put more fluids in just to see if it worked.. I may have to call my ex (yes.. my only 'friend' in ithaca) to see if he will drive me down to see if it's even in the shop.. or is that illegal? I have my key to it..

either way..If I can just pay for the diagnostic and then take it across the street to an auto place I trust (like I shouldve in the first place).. then i will.

I contacted my boss at the summer camp I work at and he was able to advance me $800 of my summer pay.. I'm going to be working for nothing this summer.. gah.. But I need to not think about that now.. and worry about the summer later..

Does anyone know how to work with auto shops!? Is this right what they did? The guys at work all cringed when I said i took it to Hyundai.. so now I feel like an idiot too..

and on top of all that.. now I am carless for the week... can't go to the gym (i'd walk but its seriously zero right now)... can't go up to school to practice.. and am really really working on not slipping into negativity on this.

On the positive side.. at least my transmission is ok and its just a minor transmission thing... at least I was able to secure $800... at least I have a co-worker who can pick me up in the morning and drop me off after work... not going to the gym will free up time for me to catch up on other things I push off all week because I get home so late... Maybe it will be good to have a breather... Maybe I will take the time to do some pilates or yoga .. at least after I clean my bedroom.. which now I can do tonight.

I WILL NOT LET FOOD BE MY FIX-ALL!

Once again.. Food does not help with my money problems.. or my car problems... ANY problem

Thanks for reading.. and thanks also to those of you who gave me some soup spicing up advice!

this is a heavy weight...

I'm realy struggling tonight. I had a stressful day at work with meetings and trying to catch up on yesterday work that I missed because of training at another radio station. Plus the vibe at work is very negative.. a lot of angry people and back talk/gossip that I am really trying to stay out of.

I'm also still stuck in the auto finance mess. Day 2 of working with the Hyundai dealer (this after getting treated bad and then not financed at Nissan).. still no banks stepping up to help me. I can't blame them.. My credit isn't the best.. I have a ton of student loan debt... I'm barely making enough to survive and have only been at this job for 2 months anyways. Hyundai called today to let me know they are not having luck and if I had any luck finding of cosigner. Ofcourse I havent... since I wont ask anyone.. I'm not putting what little relationships I have in jeopardy. And it's not that I think I will default. I have been successfully paying a monthly payment on this car loan I have now for the past 3 years.

I emailed my uncle.. my late mothers brother.. just for advice on where to go now. I said flat out that I was not asking him and his wife to cosign for me.. but that I just needed an adult opinion (and while I didn't state the obvious to them)... an opinion because I have no mother or father or really any adult figures to go to.

I ofcourse broke down for the first time in 09 about missing my mom and dad.. and being angry that they aren't around to help me with this (not blaming them).. and now I'm just really really sad.. which I don't like becuase I have been really really happy and positive up until the past few days.

I went to the gym today.. but only walked for 30 minutes... I think my shoes are too small as the back of my heal now has blisters. I don't have $ for new shoes.. so I need to dig through my closet.. I think I have a pair of new balance in there that I haven't used much.

Since I only did 30 minutes.. I decided to talk to a personal trainer.. just to show me what machines I should use to get started on a basic weight routine. I gave me new confidence in personal trainers. He was not pushy, he understood my fears and concerns and told me flat out that there was no reason to use half the machines in the building... to just focus on the basics and don't be afraid of other people watching you. He agreed with my saying that because I'm doing walking and jogging, that going nuts with lower body machines isn't necessary. He strongly suggested just doing squats with my body weight.. maybe touch on the leg curl/extension and the leg ad/abduction machines. As for upper body.. chest press, row, and pull down... free weights for biceps/triceps. As for abs.. I mentioned I had done pilates and yoga in the past and may stick to that for my core strengthening. He 100% agreed, saying that doing crunches is only good for helping you do more crunches and that pilates/yoga are what you need to do to strengthen the core.

I felt a lot better after just talking with him. I've used all these machines before but just wanted confirmation on what I should do to get started and focus on the main muscle groups. As I progress and feel the need to get more serious about weight training, i will ofcourse get a more specifc program in place.

I have decided to do this after my cardio. This means I may need to make cardio for 30 minutes unless I want to spend an hour and a half at the gym.. and that all depends on if I can get out of work at 5 or not. I did ask my boss if I could leave at 5 instead of 530 since I am not going out to lunch and only taking about 20 minutes of my hour break to eat.. and that at my desk doing work! He agreed to give it a try.. so M/W/F I am allowed to leave at 5 if I am all caught up and nothing else is pressing.

And, once again, I feel much calmer after taking the time to write this all out. I swear blogging is the cheapest therapy invented.

Off to fold laundry and go to bed. I pray my mind will shut up tonight so I can sleep.