weight in review

Looking back at my old posts I see that I CAN lose weight. I've noticed patterns (emotional eating anyone?!) and have a clearer idea of what I need to do to get back on track.

What amazes me the most is how I let myself go when I am in chaotic or un-structured situations. I've realized I need to be in control of situations. I don't think of myself as a 'control freak', but when I'm not in control I kind of just give up and in and that's when I stop caring and get lazy.

Case-in-point : transitions! I've moved (again) and have started a new job! I stayed with my friend K for 3 months until I had enough $ to get my own apartment. I did not eat well at ALL at her place. She isn't the healthiest eater, but I can't blame her. I could have bought healthier foods but I didn't and got in the 'well she eats like this, I guess i can too'.

I don't know why I feel I need to put myself in a bubble to be able to make my life work. Now that I have my own place I can stock it with healthy foods and control when and what I eat. I can join the gym and go after work.

Anyways.. looking back at my blog and weigh-in totals It shocks me to see that my lowest was 222 at the end of April. In may I started the process of packing up all my stuff into storage and in June I moved down to PA for the summer. I know I stopped eating well and exercising less come May. Too stressed and got out of sync with my schedule. I then did a mini-vacation with my sister in June and we ate at all our old childhood haunts and made bad food choices (and did a lot of DRIVING). Mid June to Mid August was summer camp. I thought I would be able to get back on track since we overhauled our food service at camp and went all organic/natural/local but I still managed to eat TOO much food. It was better for me.. but still I over-ate. I also got in a bad habit of having soda and candy when I had to work late in the office. I went for maybe 2 walks all summer. Granted, I walked a ton at camp, but I still gained weight for sure.

Mid August - mid september I was still in PA trying to find a teaching job. I was stressed and continued to make poor choices. I could have easily got up in the morning and gone out for a walk in the country-side, but I didn't. I finally found a job and moved to a friends house from Mid sept to early December. I've already mentioned that situation.

Here I am in Portland oregon visiting my sister and again, havent made good choices. It's been a lot of carbs, candy, and cola... not a good mix.

According to my sisters scale (255).. I have put on 33 pounds since May... 33lbs in 8 months!!!

My goal is to get to 199 by August 25th, my 30th Birthday. Thats a loss of 56lbs in 8 months.

If i can gain 30+ in 8 months... can I LOSE 50+ in 8 months?

Time will tell.

I getting more and more energized and inspired to get back on track.

I'll make another post soon about my 'goals'... more like rules to live by for life..

sorry for the really long post! If you are still reading... thanks!

hey there!

Wow.. what a crazy weekend! Where to begin?!

Friday -
Was dragging at work and ended up having 2 cups of coffee. I don't normally drink coffee.. so needless to say, i was wired... which is what I think led to having tons of energy for my awesome walk.. even sustained walking at 3.3mph..

It may have also kept my mind running too much.. but it also could have been just all the positive energy and excitement running through me as of late. I just could not sleep friday night.. lots of positive thinking.. thinking about food/eating, exercise, singing, career goals, and about getting a new car..

Saturday-
I had to go car shopping... and not by choice. I'm driving a 2002 Huyndai Santa Fe.. which i LOVE.. but its old and is having gear shift issues (not good).. and I'm tired of putting money into it so Thursday night after driving home because of the gear issues instead of going to the gym.. I researched what was out there. I found a Nissan Murano '06 that looked good so I put in a request online and got a call back not 3 minutes to set up a viewing. Saturday I checked it out and let me just say.. I don't know who I am anymore.. I didn't back down or anything! I felt very in control and calm.. I knew what I wanted and wouldn't budge. I want to keep my monthly payment around the same as it is now.. and they started way high and I was like.. "when I say I want X amount.. I really meant it." I also kept playing the "well.. I guess I will go look at another dealer - who i had said I would stop in to see today".. Back and forth a lot with the sales guy and finance dept... I got it down to where I wanted the monthly to be... I took it for another drive just to be sure it felt right.. I decided to take the offer. Unfortunately, banks were closed.. so I wont know until monday if I've been financed. I worry about this becuase of my credit score being so low.. and I do have a lot of debt.. but I feel if it's meant to be it will be. I would prefer not to keep driving this Santa Fe as it is not in the best condition... and I really don't have the $ to fix it. Keep fingers/toes/eyes crossed that I hear good news tomorrow! Then I can be really excited about it.. I've been staying calm so as not to get my hopes up.

Sunday-
Pretty laid back. I had intentions to go to the gym at least once this weekend but that did not happen. I think i am ok with just going during the week now. I really don't have time during the week to do the house chores and what not.. so I'll keep my weekends for chores like grocery shopping and cleaning/organizing.... which I FINALLY decluttered my desk and am in the process of cleaning out files... I need to figure out what paperwork needs to be saved for tax (and non-tax) pourposes...

I'm feeling great about my weightloss and eating. I may not be 100% on eating clean.. but thats ok.. no one needs to be perfect. I may be doing a post on eating clean and tight budgets this week if I have time..

Have a great week everyone and I will update when I can.. Life is becoming more full and exciting, but I will try to catch up with you all as much as I can!!

Just some thoughts

I think my body needs to really move everyday.. and perhaps this only doing cardio m/w/f is not going to be the best for me... I mean.. YES.. It's good for me any my body... but I think my body needs/craves more and while I do need to get weights and practicing my singing in.. I think I just need to focus on just one thing.. and thats moving every day (except sunday.. baby jesus wan'ts us to rest then ; )

I *will* add strength training in... probably in the next week or so. I really want to get working out 6 days a week under my belt as well as eating clean.

Speaking of eating clean.. It is going well but I am sneaking in more substitute sugar than I should. In fact.. Im on my second cup of coffee with sweet and low... and not just one pckt.. 2 PACKETS.. for each cup. I usually do coffee with creamer and sugar.. but we are our of creamer.. I was surprised i actually liked it with just sugar... but that's besides the point..

I need to review the plan again.. I am adding in a cheese stick/day.... and have upped the protein (larger servings).. My calorie intake is about 200-300 higer than it was the first week... I felt it was a little low and I was going to bed really hungry.

So.. new workout plan

I will focus on Cardio/Strength ONLY from here until the end of May.. I can practice singing this summer while I teach at Ballibay...

CARDIO 60min/day... 6 Days a Week (Walk.. increase mph weekly and inclines bi-weekly)
STRENGTH 20-30m/day... 3 Days a Week

I've decided that since my dinner is usually my lightest meal of the day, that I'm ok eating later than usual.. I am working on getting to bed (lights off) by 11pm. I'm also going to ask my boss if I can leave half an hour earlier (5pm) since I am staying in the office for my hour lunch (we just got a fridge.. finally).. and take a half hour, in-house, lunch... I think that's a good compromise... that way I would get home a little earlier.

Anyways... lots of thoughts going through my head today. I think I *am* coming down with something. My throat has that raw,hot, icky, itchy feeling which usually leads to strep.. But I am staying as positive as possible in hopes it wont manifest into something bad!

so.. long story short...

My main FOCUS is on ME and my HEALTH/WEIGHT for the next 5 MONTHS