note to self

that splurge meal was so not worth it... chinese food should never be used as a splurge...

I don't know how I used to eat that stuff all the time... white rice, sesame chicken, dim sum and an egg roll... not worth it..

maybe instead of one meal a week to have whatever I want.. I'll just give myself a day off from counting calories..

the up side is that at least food doesn't have such a hold over me anymore... maybe I wont even do a 'splurge' meal next weekend...although I am meeting up with a friend on saturday..hmmm

NO BACK SLIDING!!

You have worked hard at lossing this weight and it was finally starting to come off a little faster and what do you do? YOU GO BACK TO EATING CRAP!

WI this morning was 229.4

Last night I gave in and blew the rest of my day since my lunch was horrible (pizza).. and I went and got chinese. I got general tso's chicken.. TWO veg egg rolls and a diet mt. dew.

There are many things wrong with this... first.. i had chicken.. and I have been touting myself as a vegetarian.. then I have meat when I go out to eat?? That's not right.. I either don't have meat or I do.. I can't be in between..

second.. Eating this food made me feel physically sick. I haven't had this feeling in a long time.. but my left side and left shoulder hurt.. like I was over stuffing myself. I didn't feel good all night and this morning I had a really bad stomach ache and accompanying BM.

It was all because I had a bad lunch. I gave in.. decided to blow the whole day. Well.. it's those 'give-ins' that have made me fat. The not caring and just letting the rest of day slide after one slip up.. I'll never reach goal if I let a whole day go to waste. Yes.. one slip up now and then is inevitable.. no one is perfect.. but to let that one slip turn in to a big SLIDE.. NOT GOOD.

I vow to drink my water today.. and have 'clean foods'... nothing processed.. and def. no more take out... I'm going to have 2 slices of my homemade veggie pizza... make some rice and veggies tonight.. and just focus on one day at a time. I was so excited to see the scale at 225/226 a few days ago.. and I know Im probably retaing water from the chinese food.. BUT.. I probably did add some weight back.. Since sunday nights chinese food to last nights chinese food.. I've been packing in more food than I should. I know this sounds weird.. but If I go to bed hungry.. I know I've done a good job eating.. I shouldnt be going to be so full...

Food Log

800
bagel/cc (5)
tea

lunch 1245 ***
3 slices veggie pizza (15)
cheezits (4)
(19)

Dinner
600
1C CousCous (4)
sauted veggies (0)

icecream (2)

Used - 30

*** I felt really out of control at lunch.. I went home for lunch.. reheated 3 slices of the veggie pizza I made on Monday.. then grabbed the box of cheezits. I mean.. i still have 6 points for dinner.. and Im fine doing a ton of veggies over couscous.. I just feel like no matter how much I tell myself I need to eat less.. the more I want to (and end up) eating.. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that when you are denied something, it makes you want it even more... Life long battle.. here I come...