not gonna lie.. pretty hungry! I must be eating too little and since I cant afford more protein.. (yay food budget : ( I guess I will have to bump up the carbs. Balancing a diet is tricky! I'm adding in soy milk and I may have to add cheese back in but I'm not sure that's really clean.. plus cheese is such a trigger food for me.
Todays Food..
breakfast (8am)
1/2c oatmeal (it was supposed to be a cup but it exploded in the micro)
1 banana
1cup frozen fruit
1 scoop protein powder
snack (10)
baby carrots
3 tbsp hummus
lunch (1230)
1c bean chili
1c broc
1/2c couscous
snack (330)
apple
10z almonds
dinner (630)
4oz turkey breast
1c mixed veg (had carrotts/corn)
1/2cup couscous
Its now 830 and I am freakin' starving!!
CALORIES ----1500
CARBS ----234
FAT ----30
PROTEIN ---90
off to have a glass of soy milk and a tbsp of pb ... which brings me up to
1,680 Calories
241 Carbs (55%)
43 Fat (22%)
103 Protein (23%)
Didn't get a workout in either.. got all the way to the gym and changed.. only to find i did not have my shoes with me! Boo... and I was really looking forward to my walk.. I'll get it in tomorrow and will also figure out the balance of this diet soon. Going away for NewYearsEve..will do the best I can and not beat myself up... It's just one day.. and one day of a whole week of good shouldn't be too horrible.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
day 2 - eating clean..
Woke up late again.. 10:30.. I put new curtains up in my bedroom so it's a lot darker..and I rearranged my room according to feng shui and I think that's helped.
Made a protein shake for breakfast..
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 banana
1/2c frozen strawberries
1/2 c frozen peach
1 cup warm water
It's ok.. it's not really smooth and creammy... more airy and fluffy.. maybe i need to add ice.. but I was trying to avoid the freezing cold smoothies in the morning...hmm
Off to the gym after this.. 45 min walk.. I need to get an audio book on my mp3 player..reading a mag yesterday made the time fly.. I also had my music on (brit brit, JT, Kanye...nice mix!)
I'm feeling good today.. mild headache this am.. but otherwise i'm up and feeling ready to DO things... and that's a good thing ; )
-------
snack 1:00
1oz almonds
apple
lunch 330
2 wheat wraps
3 tbsp hummus
5oz chicken
2 cup baby spinach
dinner 630
1/2c couscous
1c bean chili
1c brocolli
snack 800 - really hungry
carrotts
3 tbsp hummus
Walk 45minutes (250ish cal)
I'm not eating enough calories... I really don't want to stall my weight loss because I'm not eating enough.. any thoughts on where to add more calories... I don't drink milk and I'm trying to stay away from cheese.
Made a protein shake for breakfast..
1 scoop vanilla protein powder
1 banana
1/2c frozen strawberries
1/2 c frozen peach
1 cup warm water
It's ok.. it's not really smooth and creammy... more airy and fluffy.. maybe i need to add ice.. but I was trying to avoid the freezing cold smoothies in the morning...hmm
Off to the gym after this.. 45 min walk.. I need to get an audio book on my mp3 player..reading a mag yesterday made the time fly.. I also had my music on (brit brit, JT, Kanye...nice mix!)
I'm feeling good today.. mild headache this am.. but otherwise i'm up and feeling ready to DO things... and that's a good thing ; )
-------
snack 1:00
1oz almonds
apple
lunch 330
2 wheat wraps
3 tbsp hummus
5oz chicken
2 cup baby spinach
dinner 630
1/2c couscous
1c bean chili
1c brocolli
snack 800 - really hungry
carrotts
3 tbsp hummus
Walk 45minutes (250ish cal)
I'm not eating enough calories... I really don't want to stall my weight loss because I'm not eating enough.. any thoughts on where to add more calories... I don't drink milk and I'm trying to stay away from cheese.
Clean eating is awesome!
Yesterday was my first day on the 'eat-clean' diet and I have to say.. if this is a 'diet' then count me in! Actually.. it's not a diet.. it's a lifestyle change.. but one that I feel like I can keep up with for the rest of my life. Why shouldn't I?! I ate all day (well.. every 2 -3 hours)...I ate foods that I like..albeit smaller portions..and felt really good about myself for eating whole, natural foods with not processing and minimal sugars.
speaking of the sugars.. It's shocking to see what has sugar in it. I was cleaning out my pantry last night and I tossed out more than I would've liked to (don't like to waste things!).. but I did it because I know sugar is a major culprit to my weight gain. I also may have PCOS (Poly cystic ovarian syndrome)..and while never officially diagnosed..deep down I have a feeling I do have this..and eliminating sugars is key to helping with that as well. Plus.. Cancer loves sugar...and my mom passed away from cancer..so I'd like to not let that happen to me as well!
I did have a dull headache most of the day.. presumably it was the sugar because I felt like I was eating enough.... I sparkpeopled it and my days caloric intake was at 1550 .. and I did work out for 45 minutes (280cal) so I really should've had more food. My BMR is 2450ish.. so to lose 2 pounds a week, I should be eating 1450....but I need to eat what I worked off...so 1700. It's interesting to play with those numbers but I don't want to get locked up in them either.. and all I do is think numbers... so I may just add more protein in at lunch.... I'm trying for a smaller meal at dinner so I don't go to be so full.
Anyways.. here was *yesterdays* food log:
Breakfast (10:30) (yay weekends~)
1 cup oatmeal
mixed
with 1 scoop vanilla soy protein powder
banana on top
2 things with this meal...
1. mixing oatmeal and powder before heating turns the end result into a disgusting, paste like, oatmeal..I had to add a tbsp of honey to get it down... will not be making it this way again.
2. I keep reading mixed reviews on SOY in the diet for women.. I'll have to find my resource.. but anyone know any definent reasons why not to have soy in the diet?
snack (1:30)
1 cup baby carrots
2 tbsp pre-made hummus (no sugar.. pretty natural/clean)
1. I was so hungry after this meal.. something to do with the carrotts or do I need more hummus (or a different protein)
Lunch (4:00)
2 small whole wheat wraps
2 Tbsp hummus /split b/w wraps
2 cups raw baby spinach
3oz chicken..split
delicious.. but really could've used more protein.. I'm on a budget so I need to find cheap meat..time to look through the ads...or just add some beans to the wrap..
Snack (7:00)
apple
1 oz. almonds
Dinner (9:30) (way late.. but I didnt get to bed til 1)
1 cup bean chili
1 cup whole wheat couscous
2 cups mixed veg (had carrotts and corn...needed to get rid of it)
I drank at least 8 glasses of water.. if not more..
Overall -- not a bad day
I even got a 45 minute walk in... and looked at the weight machines but felt a little lost. I've used the ones I was familiar with.. but I'm going to have to get a trainer to show me the machines.. and maybe work up a weight training plan for me... something simple yet effective and does'nt make me look or feel like a fool...so basically sticking to machines.. haha
speaking of the sugars.. It's shocking to see what has sugar in it. I was cleaning out my pantry last night and I tossed out more than I would've liked to (don't like to waste things!).. but I did it because I know sugar is a major culprit to my weight gain. I also may have PCOS (Poly cystic ovarian syndrome)..and while never officially diagnosed..deep down I have a feeling I do have this..and eliminating sugars is key to helping with that as well. Plus.. Cancer loves sugar...and my mom passed away from cancer..so I'd like to not let that happen to me as well!
I did have a dull headache most of the day.. presumably it was the sugar because I felt like I was eating enough.... I sparkpeopled it and my days caloric intake was at 1550 .. and I did work out for 45 minutes (280cal) so I really should've had more food. My BMR is 2450ish.. so to lose 2 pounds a week, I should be eating 1450....but I need to eat what I worked off...so 1700. It's interesting to play with those numbers but I don't want to get locked up in them either.. and all I do is think numbers... so I may just add more protein in at lunch.... I'm trying for a smaller meal at dinner so I don't go to be so full.
Anyways.. here was *yesterdays* food log:
Breakfast (10:30) (yay weekends~)
1 cup oatmeal
mixed
with 1 scoop vanilla soy protein powder
banana on top
2 things with this meal...
1. mixing oatmeal and powder before heating turns the end result into a disgusting, paste like, oatmeal..I had to add a tbsp of honey to get it down... will not be making it this way again.
2. I keep reading mixed reviews on SOY in the diet for women.. I'll have to find my resource.. but anyone know any definent reasons why not to have soy in the diet?
snack (1:30)
1 cup baby carrots
2 tbsp pre-made hummus (no sugar.. pretty natural/clean)
1. I was so hungry after this meal.. something to do with the carrotts or do I need more hummus (or a different protein)
Lunch (4:00)
2 small whole wheat wraps
2 Tbsp hummus /split b/w wraps
2 cups raw baby spinach
3oz chicken..split
delicious.. but really could've used more protein.. I'm on a budget so I need to find cheap meat..time to look through the ads...or just add some beans to the wrap..
Snack (7:00)
apple
1 oz. almonds
Dinner (9:30) (way late.. but I didnt get to bed til 1)
1 cup bean chili
1 cup whole wheat couscous
2 cups mixed veg (had carrotts and corn...needed to get rid of it)
I drank at least 8 glasses of water.. if not more..
Overall -- not a bad day
I even got a 45 minute walk in... and looked at the weight machines but felt a little lost. I've used the ones I was familiar with.. but I'm going to have to get a trainer to show me the machines.. and maybe work up a weight training plan for me... something simple yet effective and does'nt make me look or feel like a fool...so basically sticking to machines.. haha
Friday, December 26, 2008
Why lose weight?
We all have our reasons... here are mine:
- I'm tired of being tired... of my knees and back hurting, of being winded from climbing a few flights of stairs, of feeling uncomfortable in my body
- I want...to stop hurting..to sleep better...to feel better. I want to be able to shop off the racks, I want to have better circulation, I want to have one chin, not 3! I want curves..not rolls.
- I want my confidence and self esteme/self worth to match what I know myself to be but have trouble showing because I'm embarassed of my weight.
- I want a long career and a teacher...and singer. I have held myself back as a singer because of my weight...I've been afraid and embarassed. Looks are a big deal when you are a singer and on stage.. just as much as being an actress on stage or film... and while I wish it wasn't so... it is..and i'm not comfortable being a fatty on stage where tons of people are watching me.
- I want to reach all my life goals and live long enough to do so! Things like traveling.. learning to dance.. trying new things...meeting new people ... hopefully the love of my life sooner-than-later
- To look hot! Not my primary reason.. but I've never felt hot ever. I've be fat my whole life..I've never known what its like to wear that 'little black dress'.. or shop in regular stores...I'm sick of Lane Bryant and the womans/plus size section. I want to wear fashionable clothes and look hot!
Why change my diet?...
to not feel bloated and sick after eating... to stop my heart from racing at night...to not become diabetic...to reduce my risk of any number of diseases.. to not be a statistic
There are numerous reasons to lose weight and eat healthy. I think it's good to take stock of why you want to make a major change in your life so you know deep down why you are doing this. Never do it for someone else or for superficial reason... do it because you want to and you know you need to.
Best of luck to everyone on their own journeys...
- I'm tired of being tired... of my knees and back hurting, of being winded from climbing a few flights of stairs, of feeling uncomfortable in my body
- I want...to stop hurting..to sleep better...to feel better. I want to be able to shop off the racks, I want to have better circulation, I want to have one chin, not 3! I want curves..not rolls.
- I want my confidence and self esteme/self worth to match what I know myself to be but have trouble showing because I'm embarassed of my weight.
- I want a long career and a teacher...and singer. I have held myself back as a singer because of my weight...I've been afraid and embarassed. Looks are a big deal when you are a singer and on stage.. just as much as being an actress on stage or film... and while I wish it wasn't so... it is..and i'm not comfortable being a fatty on stage where tons of people are watching me.
- I want to reach all my life goals and live long enough to do so! Things like traveling.. learning to dance.. trying new things...meeting new people ... hopefully the love of my life sooner-than-later
- To look hot! Not my primary reason.. but I've never felt hot ever. I've be fat my whole life..I've never known what its like to wear that 'little black dress'.. or shop in regular stores...I'm sick of Lane Bryant and the womans/plus size section. I want to wear fashionable clothes and look hot!
Why change my diet?...
to not feel bloated and sick after eating... to stop my heart from racing at night...to not become diabetic...to reduce my risk of any number of diseases.. to not be a statistic
There are numerous reasons to lose weight and eat healthy. I think it's good to take stock of why you want to make a major change in your life so you know deep down why you are doing this. Never do it for someone else or for superficial reason... do it because you want to and you know you need to.
Best of luck to everyone on their own journeys...
Tomorrow is a New Beginning
Where to start.... This past year has had it's ups and downs...in life and weight.. My lowest weight this past year was 208..my highest, 234 (not so long ago!). I've gone through a lot the past few months with moving back to ithaca..losing , who I thought, was the love of my life.. and having to change jobs and careers... as well as being without friends and family near by.
Not to say it was a bad year! My best friend Mary was married in July... I had a great teaching job (that I wish wasn't just a maternity leave!).. I spent 8 months in love and learned that I, in fact, am loveable. I spent my 8th summer teaching and directing at Ballibay (performing arts camp in PA). I sang my first Messiah and broke through some old singing habits. I've figured out some career goals for next year and feel like I will be able to get there.
I've also started to finally come to terms with my weight and why I keep holding on. Being fat is a safety net. It's easy to be fat and not be healthy. I've kind of holed my self up and really haven't been living. I'm not dating and I'm not very social... even though I know I am a friendly and outgoing person.. I just kind of gave up... and while I *was* in a realtionship.. I also didn't care about being healthy/losing weight because the guy I was with loved me how I was.. and he was also overweight..and food was a big part of our time together.
And now on to 2009. I really have a great feeling about next year. I have been thinking hard about what I want and how I am going to get there. I have my life planned out until about mid August already. For the next 5 months (til the end of May) I am here in Ithaca. It's a tight budget that I'm living on with the pay from this radio job.. but It's what I have to work with and I am ok with that. I hold no animosity anymore to the ex for having me move here and then dumping me... It just wasn't mean to be. On the flip side, it's given me time to really work on myself. I've joined a gym and have made time to workout every single day. I've also committed myself to clean eating and cutting out processed foods,sugar, and dairy. So thats my plan for the next 5 months. After that I'm off to Ballibay again from June until mid-August. I will still be able to workout.. go for walks morning and night (hopefully jogging by then!)..and I should be able to stay close to the clean eating plan... the food at camp is highly processed..but there is at least a salad bar. After camp my other best friend, Melissa, is getting married and I am in her bridal party.. another reason to lose some weight! By the end of august I will have found a good teaching job.. either elementary or ms music...or even a community college music job. I am looking in metropolitan areas... but for some reason the DC area is calling to me... but really.. anywhere I can perform and teach...and have some close friends nearby.
Tomorrow is the start to my new year.. 5 days early.. but why not end 2008 on a high note..and not a high weight on the scale ; )
Not to say it was a bad year! My best friend Mary was married in July... I had a great teaching job (that I wish wasn't just a maternity leave!).. I spent 8 months in love and learned that I, in fact, am loveable. I spent my 8th summer teaching and directing at Ballibay (performing arts camp in PA). I sang my first Messiah and broke through some old singing habits. I've figured out some career goals for next year and feel like I will be able to get there.
I've also started to finally come to terms with my weight and why I keep holding on. Being fat is a safety net. It's easy to be fat and not be healthy. I've kind of holed my self up and really haven't been living. I'm not dating and I'm not very social... even though I know I am a friendly and outgoing person.. I just kind of gave up... and while I *was* in a realtionship.. I also didn't care about being healthy/losing weight because the guy I was with loved me how I was.. and he was also overweight..and food was a big part of our time together.
And now on to 2009. I really have a great feeling about next year. I have been thinking hard about what I want and how I am going to get there. I have my life planned out until about mid August already. For the next 5 months (til the end of May) I am here in Ithaca. It's a tight budget that I'm living on with the pay from this radio job.. but It's what I have to work with and I am ok with that. I hold no animosity anymore to the ex for having me move here and then dumping me... It just wasn't mean to be. On the flip side, it's given me time to really work on myself. I've joined a gym and have made time to workout every single day. I've also committed myself to clean eating and cutting out processed foods,sugar, and dairy. So thats my plan for the next 5 months. After that I'm off to Ballibay again from June until mid-August. I will still be able to workout.. go for walks morning and night (hopefully jogging by then!)..and I should be able to stay close to the clean eating plan... the food at camp is highly processed..but there is at least a salad bar. After camp my other best friend, Melissa, is getting married and I am in her bridal party.. another reason to lose some weight! By the end of august I will have found a good teaching job.. either elementary or ms music...or even a community college music job. I am looking in metropolitan areas... but for some reason the DC area is calling to me... but really.. anywhere I can perform and teach...and have some close friends nearby.
Tomorrow is the start to my new year.. 5 days early.. but why not end 2008 on a high note..and not a high weight on the scale ; )
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
lactose intolerant?
I am having a serious stomache issue... One of my co-workers made homeade irish cream (like baileys..).. and since I don't drink milk anymore (only soy milk).. I think I'm having a reaction to it.. so.. said Irish Cream will be poured down the drain.. don't need it.. and if it's going to make me feel this yuck.. then no thanks...
In other news..
I have joined a 6 week challenge hosted by *FiTCETERA*
I didn't notice a start date (if I'm wrong, let me know!).. so while I will be eating as best I can the next two weeks.. my official 6 week challenge will not start until Jan. 2nd.. after all the partys I have lined up. I will committ to going to the gym every day between 12/26 until 12/31 to make up for it all.
I bought 'The Eat-Clean Diet' book today and am 1/4 of the way through it. It's all things I've heard before for the most part but for somereason I just wasn't listening. For my 6 week challenge I am going to use this way of eating.. (which is really just sound nutritional advice..no sugars/whites... water...more veg/fruit, less carbs...).. The one component I am not doing is eating 5-6 small meals each day. I was never one for skipping breakfast..and I love oatmeal/fruit in the morning.. so that's not an issue... I will however have to find a good protein powder because I do not do eggs... Overall.. I this the eat-clean way (I wish they didn't use the word diet...) is a sensible look at how to live your life.. and I'm willing to give it a go!
1/2 day of work tomorrow.. then thursday and friday off. My sister was not able to come out for xmas because of $. Even if she had got a ticket.. she would still be stuck.. or at least delayed.. She's out in Portland Oregon.. they have at least a foot of snow.. and according to her "only 2 snow plows!'. The airport is a mess...and there are tons of delays. It's always sad when storms interfere with holiday travel... Family is so important at this time of year. It's been 5 years since our Mom and Dad passed away.. and this is the first year in our 28 years of life that we've had to spend it apart. We are both sad but will spend time on the phone and online christmas day.. we even have a scrabble (online) christmas day championship planned... I also have plans to spend some time with come co-workers who are here alone this christmas..so I will not be alone : ) (plus I have all my new blogger friends to check in on!)
Off to read more..
In other news..
I have joined a 6 week challenge hosted by *FiTCETERA*
I didn't notice a start date (if I'm wrong, let me know!).. so while I will be eating as best I can the next two weeks.. my official 6 week challenge will not start until Jan. 2nd.. after all the partys I have lined up. I will committ to going to the gym every day between 12/26 until 12/31 to make up for it all.
I bought 'The Eat-Clean Diet' book today and am 1/4 of the way through it. It's all things I've heard before for the most part but for somereason I just wasn't listening. For my 6 week challenge I am going to use this way of eating.. (which is really just sound nutritional advice..no sugars/whites... water...more veg/fruit, less carbs...).. The one component I am not doing is eating 5-6 small meals each day. I was never one for skipping breakfast..and I love oatmeal/fruit in the morning.. so that's not an issue... I will however have to find a good protein powder because I do not do eggs... Overall.. I this the eat-clean way (I wish they didn't use the word diet...) is a sensible look at how to live your life.. and I'm willing to give it a go!
1/2 day of work tomorrow.. then thursday and friday off. My sister was not able to come out for xmas because of $. Even if she had got a ticket.. she would still be stuck.. or at least delayed.. She's out in Portland Oregon.. they have at least a foot of snow.. and according to her "only 2 snow plows!'. The airport is a mess...and there are tons of delays. It's always sad when storms interfere with holiday travel... Family is so important at this time of year. It's been 5 years since our Mom and Dad passed away.. and this is the first year in our 28 years of life that we've had to spend it apart. We are both sad but will spend time on the phone and online christmas day.. we even have a scrabble (online) christmas day championship planned... I also have plans to spend some time with come co-workers who are here alone this christmas..so I will not be alone : ) (plus I have all my new blogger friends to check in on!)
Off to read more..
holiday party
We had a holiday party today at work.. not a healthy food around... Had 3 pieces of mushroom pizza (papa johns)..1 wing.. yuck.. and about 5 homemade cookies...
Will be hitting the gym after work for SURE... and will fight hard to not throw in the towel for the rest of the day.. I have an apple here on my desk for mid-afternoon snack.. and it just seems so silly now...
I know.. fall off... get back on at the next meal....
Do I want to get healthy and lose weight?... YES
So get back on track right away....
**end talking to self**
-------------
Not a minute after writting this I was tempted to go get some more pizza and /or cookies... and I got really sad and upset.. I'm like a little kid who doesn't get what they want..
ITS JUST FOOD... It will not help me with my goals
The mental/emotional part of losing weight is just as hard.. if not harder.. then doing the work for it....
Will be hitting the gym after work for SURE... and will fight hard to not throw in the towel for the rest of the day.. I have an apple here on my desk for mid-afternoon snack.. and it just seems so silly now...
I know.. fall off... get back on at the next meal....
Do I want to get healthy and lose weight?... YES
So get back on track right away....
**end talking to self**
-------------
Not a minute after writting this I was tempted to go get some more pizza and /or cookies... and I got really sad and upset.. I'm like a little kid who doesn't get what they want..
ITS JUST FOOD... It will not help me with my goals
The mental/emotional part of losing weight is just as hard.. if not harder.. then doing the work for it....
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