feeling kind of crazy

I had just microwaved my soup here at work and one of the sales guys asked where a good place to get delivery from was..

I said.. OH! Theres this pizza place.. lets order something together! So we look at the menu and I even said outloud "i know i should eat my soup but this is emotional eating at its finest..'

Right before we called.. I snapped out of it and said that I should probably just eat my soup... so he just got something for him self

HOW CRAZY IS THAT! To have brought my lunch and just heated it up.. and just switch like that to not caring and eating for emotional reasons... it's nuts!

I feel very proud of myself for not going through with it.. but isn't it interesting how so easily we sabotage ourselves.. and knowingly!

I had to call the ex to get a ride home from work tonight... I really hated making that call...I don't know how I'm going to handle myself.. I feel very vulnerable right now.. I'm stressed about my car and work and I want nothing more than to be able to hang out and have fun... but I don't think we can be friends after ending our relationship.. ugh.. I hate this..This is just proof that I need to keep him out of my life.... that just calling him for a ride causes so much angst and upheaval of emotions...

I really want to eat crappy food right now.. i wish I had gone in on pizza for lunch.. i feel pathetic eating soup..

change is hard...